CHANGE IT OR CHARGE IT OR JUST DROP IT!
WRITTEN BY OJEME ISIOMA(OSES_COPYWRITE)
Have you ever been there before? The times when you are sad, feel lonely and don’t know who you are anymore? Have you ever hit the point where you feel like you don’t understand anything about your life anymore? All you feel is emptiness, pain, confusion and you just want to be around nobody! Your solace is found in crying on your bed at night and just talking to yourself every time you are alone. Sooner or later, you only realize that the situation is beyond your control and whatever you cannot control, you do not need to wallow in or worry about.
You are so aware of your inability to change the situation (if it’s really a situation you cannot change!) but you feel like you just can’t stop thinking about it!
Regrets begin to spring up! Blame, shame, guilt and pain are all you feel. You just want to hate yourself for everything that’s happened to you especially when you make yourself believe that you caused everything!
But guess what? That’s not even the main gist! Don’t worry, I’m about to tell you the real gist and in full!
Hey! Here’s the thing I want you to know from today and for the rest of your life; “You should never blame yourself for everything that happened in that bad situation because you couldn’t have caused everything if everything was not about you”.
It would be safer and wiser for you to take time to ponder on the message above because if it is not carefully thought about, it could be easilymisinterpreted and be perceived as misleading, but if well thought about, could be life changing for you!
So, I want to believe that that message was wellreceived and interpreted correctly by you. And yes, you may not be in control of the situation, but you’d always be in control of yourself and how you respond to the situation!
Again, think deeply about that message before you start crying over a relationship longer than necessary, shake it off and move on! Just before you blame yourself for those “failures” as you’d call them (I’d rather have you call them “lessons”), remember that it can’t completely be your fault if everything wasn’t about you. And even if it was, would you rather change it or charge it? And when you can’t change it, you can only charge it or drop it. I’d advise that you just drop it if it’s not aiding your happiness!
Take note, I am not telling you not to take responsibility for your actions, of course you damn should! But guess what? Acknowledging and accepting your mistakes and deciding to move on for the best is a decision, and that is you being responsible and taking responsibility! To me, it is the most responsible kind of “taking responsibility!”
And yes of course, there is a vast difference betweenyou taking responsibility for your actions and youblaming yourself for everything! I guess I just made the difference clear.
But just in case you still did not get it, the difference can be briefly re-explained based on the results they yield. Blaming yourself yields to self-rejection,regrets and shame, while taking responsibility for your actions yields to the acceptance (of yourself, the situation and even who you are capable of becomingthe very moment you decide to drop it for the best), being thankful for the experience, knowing that they are your tools to fulfilling your God-given assignment(s) and taking pride in yourself for being able to come out of that situation strong! It is you telling yourself this; “although I am not completely responsible for this, I take responsibility for my actions because I am responsible!”
Keep this in mind, if you must think about that situation or challenge, then think about how to use it to fulfil your purpose and if there’s no way that’s going to happen, then it’s a sign that you just need todrop it! Yes, you may say “easier said than done” but you were created to last! So, drop it by praying! Drop it by fasting! Drop it by meditating on God’s Word! Drop it by tarrying in His Presence! Drop it by praising and worshipping God! (this works powerfully, trust me!)
When we find ourselves in uncontrollable situations,just know that it’s God saying to us; “It’s time to trust Me”. So, learn to trust Him!
Your experiences are tools to help you implement your assignments to fulfil your purpose! The question should always be, what exactly is each tool (experience) meant for?
And finally, by the mercy of God, I would be glad to leave you with a quote by a great man of Blessed memory (if you read my articles, you’d know that I love him so much) – Dr. Myles Munroe and he said; “it is not what happens to you that matters, but what you do with what happens to you”. Use your tools (experiences) well and always remember that, what you are not changing or dropping, you are charging! Be very careful of what you charge, change and drop in your life! God be with you always!
Written by Ojeme Isioma
I am a transformational writer, a public speaker and a poet who has a great passion for creating a better humanity.
Visit my column to read more: Communicate Your Transformation
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