I wait for the day you would know how I ever felt about you. I waited days, stayed weeks and all trying to make you notice me, but it was always her, all day I watch you watch her, like she’s the only girl you ever see, it hurts to see that but if it made you happy, who then am I to object. I tried to get you off my mind, but as much as I tried to, you kept coming closer to me, telling me all about what I know I never wanted to know, I had wished you would tell someone about me like that, but instead you get to tell me about her. She was like your personal brand of heroine, I thought. Although I looked very happy, I hurt a lot, I didn’t even realize how bad it was, till I saw my reflection, how come no one ever noticed me being so hurt I thought. Slowly you stopped having my time and it felt alright, I felt I could move on due to that, but it wasn’t possible. I stare at my phone all night just to see if you would check up on me by texting ‘Hey’ but it never happened, so I’d text first waiting for a reply till I sleep off. Gradually I became lonely, lonely to the point I felt I never existed in the world, my only home/ world was gradually crumbling
There she was, perfection at all costs or so I thought. I missed my best friend but I didn’t know how to show up at her front or even talk to her. I felt she would be better off without me. Me being with the girl of my dreams was all I ever thought about, little did I know my best friend was my ideal girl of my dream. She had all I could ever want and also accepted me for who I was but neither is the case in this new life, in this new life of mine, I had to comply to everything she set. I was like a slave in the relationship but was happy because she accepted me out of all other guys that were after her. I had to leave a lot to be the ideal man for her, but little did I know it involved the best friend. I was happy I thought. After months I decided to go greet my best friend or should I say ex best friend. Getting there I saw her at the window side in tears she looked to pale as if she just woke up from the dead, I thought to myself, what has happened, what have I done. I was tired of the toxic relationship and wanted comfort back, but what I saw made me realize my life wasn’t the only painful thing in the world. My best friend had a gun to her head and admits her tears was about to take her life.
I had given up, he wasn’t coming back, my dad wasn’t coming back, my brother wasn’t coming back, everyone was leaving, my mum also, so what do I live for, I ask myself. I slowly pulled on the trigger when I heard his voice, I thought I was already dead, just for me to see him at my front, the one I waited for had finally come back. I could finally be in peace.
The whole point is your true love might be where/who you least expected, why give your all to a toxic relationship because you want to be free from the word ‘Single’.
Hola Sola Hoy Ashley
They say face reality but fantasy is way more better in my own perception. People say I’m weird, I love the fact I’m weird, I even at times see my self as an alien in the world of humans. I may be sad but won’t love to see people sad. Music is my escape from reality.
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