I have a proposal. You have tried by giving us Facebook, Facebook Lite and Facebook Messenger.
But you need to create something more traditional for some us. We can call it Facebook Calabash.
I would love to see notifications like:
1. Ayo Gentle and 24 others just looked at your profile photo and hissed. Let them know you are aware! Send them your thoughts. Or some thunder
2. Adekala Israel has just unliked one of your posts. Do you want to blind him?
3. Tomisin Dada and Toluwalase Ajayi are exchanging messages, gossiping about you. Join the conversation suddenly and shock them! Or send them some chickenpox.
4. Naugh Ty Jay Smile and OG re wondering why you mentioned them in this post. Do you wish to send them some knowledge? Or damage the screen of their phone?
5. Hardepelumi Xta just wished she could block you. Let her know you’re aware. Send her some common sense. Or block her brain.
6. Obi Elvis and 50 others are going through your timeline, wondering if they could delete your posts. Send them a collective thunder and hailstorm to show you care!
7. Adekunle Emmanuella Tema, Rhody Pearl and 8 other friends are taking your picture to their coven! Send them a warning message. Or cripple them!
8. Manuchimso Emmanuel is secretly crushing on you. Pop into his head and check out his latest thoughts about you!
9. Sodipo Ayomide is thinking of you. Let him know you love him too. Whisper into his ear by clicking the mouth button.
10. Aderomi Esther Aderinsola, Adebiyi Bright Oladayo , and 189 other former classmates of yours are regretting not killing you in school. Let them know you are willing to forgive. Or strike them all with Fourwengerlysis.
And so on and so forth. Then subsequently, we can discuss upgrades to the app.