You know you can survive without him, but having him with
you makes your life better.
you makes your life better.
It’s easy to
point out the reasons why a relationship becomes toxic or if it’s no longer a good situation
to be in. There are automatic “red
flags” or “triggers”
that just jump out at you.
point out the reasons why a relationship becomes toxic or if it’s no longer a good situation
to be in. There are automatic “red
flags” or “triggers”
that just jump out at you.
But maybe what we should focus on more though what a healthy
relationship looks like. Maybe we need to open up our eyes to what good looks
like to really understand what the ideal relationship is.
relationship looks like. Maybe we need to open up our eyes to what good looks
like to really understand what the ideal relationship is.
1. You’re always
building each other up.
When you finally find the person you are supposed to be
with, you won’t be able to help but work very hard to encourage each other and
bring that person up when they’re feeling down.
with, you won’t be able to help but work very hard to encourage each other and
bring that person up when they’re feeling down.
Nothing hurts you more than seeing them struggle…it just breaks
you. So you’ll do anything you can to make life a little less bumpy for them.
you. So you’ll do anything you can to make life a little less bumpy for them.
2. Trusting them isn’t a challenge.
You don’t
need to constantly know where he or who he’s with. When he tells you he’s going
somewhere or doing something, you don’t
need to question him.
need to constantly know where he or who he’s with. When he tells you he’s going
somewhere or doing something, you don’t
need to question him.
There isn’t
a need to give the other person “the
benefit of the doubt” because
that doubt doesn’t exist. You
sleep easy on the nights he gets home late, and never wonder what he’s up to.
When you ask questions, it’s just because you want to know if he had a good
time.
a need to give the other person “the
benefit of the doubt” because
that doubt doesn’t exist. You
sleep easy on the nights he gets home late, and never wonder what he’s up to.
When you ask questions, it’s just because you want to know if he had a good
time.
3. You don’t dive off of a cliff jumping to conclusions.
You don’t
automatically assume something negative is going to happen. You don’t assume that if plans fall
through it’s because he
doesn’t want to see you. You don’t automatically assume that
when he doesn’t respond to
your text that he wants to break up with you.
automatically assume something negative is going to happen. You don’t assume that if plans fall
through it’s because he
doesn’t want to see you. You don’t automatically assume that
when he doesn’t respond to
your text that he wants to break up with you.
You don’t
automatically assume there is something wrong in the relationship, you just
understand that he’s an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, moods, and
needs.
automatically assume there is something wrong in the relationship, you just
understand that he’s an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, moods, and
needs.
4. He doesn’t need to constantly reassure you that
everything is okay.
everything is okay.
You don’t
need to ask your partner if everything is okay between the two of you because
you’re mature enough in your
relationship to talk about it when you feel like things are going wrong.
need to ask your partner if everything is okay between the two of you because
you’re mature enough in your
relationship to talk about it when you feel like things are going wrong.
You don’t
let things bottle up and worry if your relationship is rocky, you communicate.
let things bottle up and worry if your relationship is rocky, you communicate.
5. There isn’t
guessing involved when it comes to their feelings for you.
guessing involved when it comes to their feelings for you.
There aren’t
any games you know if he’s into you or isn’t.
He never leaves you wanting or needing love and affection.
any games you know if he’s into you or isn’t.
He never leaves you wanting or needing love and affection.
There isn’t
a hidden agenda to figure out, you get to put down your notebook and stop
trying to decode him because he’s honest with how he feels about you.
a hidden agenda to figure out, you get to put down your notebook and stop
trying to decode him because he’s honest with how he feels about you.
6. You’re not
scared they’re going to hurt you.
scared they’re going to hurt you.
We’ve all had
those relationships where we are just bracing for the end, where we are
automatically guarded and waiting for the worst. With him, you don’t do this because you know
that the person you’re with
would never imagine hurting you that way.
those relationships where we are just bracing for the end, where we are
automatically guarded and waiting for the worst. With him, you don’t do this because you know
that the person you’re with
would never imagine hurting you that way.
7. It’s natural.
It’s so simple
being with him, that at times almost as easy as breathing. You have a harder
time deciding what to eat or what kind of coffee you want than figuring out
your relationship.
being with him, that at times almost as easy as breathing. You have a harder
time deciding what to eat or what kind of coffee you want than figuring out
your relationship.
You don’t
have to try when you’re together.
You’re not constantly trying to
impress him. You’re
comfortable being in the same room with him but doing completely separate
things, silence isn’t awkward
and you can just be yourself.
have to try when you’re together.
You’re not constantly trying to
impress him. You’re
comfortable being in the same room with him but doing completely separate
things, silence isn’t awkward
and you can just be yourself.
8. You’re with him because you want to be.
You aren’t
with him because you’re dependent
on him. You want to spend time with him because it brings you joy. You’re not with him because you
need to be, you’re with them
because you want to be. You know you can survive without him but having him
makes your life better.
with him because you’re dependent
on him. You want to spend time with him because it brings you joy. You’re not with him because you
need to be, you’re with them
because you want to be. You know you can survive without him but having him
makes your life better.
9. You aren’t
trying to change each other.
trying to change each other.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has their own annoying quirks
and everyone’s level of
maturity can be different but you’re
not wishing he changes for you. You’re
happy with who he is now.
and everyone’s level of
maturity can be different but you’re
not wishing he changes for you. You’re
happy with who he is now.
In an unhealthy relationship, you’d wake up wishing he’d change, but in yours? You’re just happy waking up next
to him.
to him.
10. You never feel like he’s hiding anything from you.
There isn’t
a need for a wall or to give just little bits of himself to you. There aren’t little snippets that come
out because he’s been “hurt too
badly in the past” or “is afraid of commitment,” you get him in his
entirety.
a need for a wall or to give just little bits of himself to you. There aren’t little snippets that come
out because he’s been “hurt too
badly in the past” or “is afraid of commitment,” you get him in his
entirety.
11. You can be completely honest with them and not be
scared.
scared.
He may laugh at you or have comments on your opinions but
you don’t have to hold your tongue.
You know he is going to listen to you and respect the things that you have to
say.
you don’t have to hold your tongue.
You know he is going to listen to you and respect the things that you have to
say.
12. There are more good days than bad.
You get along more than you fight. Yes, every couple will
argue and you will have disagreements but you always work them out.
argue and you will have disagreements but you always work them out.
You get annoyed with each other, but in a healthy
relationship the majority of the time you spend together you get along. You’re not constantly holding your
breath in order to stop the next argument.
relationship the majority of the time you spend together you get along. You’re not constantly holding your
breath in order to stop the next argument.
13. His friends are your friends, and yours are his.
You actually want to spend time with each other’s friends and you genuinely
want to get to know them. You learn about the things they like and often times
they start to become people you call your own friends.
want to get to know them. You learn about the things they like and often times
they start to become people you call your own friends.
14. Talking about the future is fun.
The future can be scary, but once you find the person that
you’re the most comfortable with,
it’s okay to start having these
talks.
you’re the most comfortable with,
it’s okay to start having these
talks.
It’s normal to talk about where your relationship is going
and what you want with your future and where you see this person in that story.
He never makes you feel weird about it. In fact, he talks about his future with
you in it, too.
and what you want with your future and where you see this person in that story.
He never makes you feel weird about it. In fact, he talks about his future with
you in it, too.
15. You two are a package deal, and everyone knows and
embraces it.
embraces it.
Most times, when you get invited to things he gets invited
as well, and it goes vice versa. It just makes sense that people know that you
spend a lot of your free time together. It doesn’t mean that you can’t go places by yourself, you just have that much
more fun when he’s around.
as well, and it goes vice versa. It just makes sense that people know that you
spend a lot of your free time together. It doesn’t mean that you can’t go places by yourself, you just have that much
more fun when he’s around.
16. However, you both still have lives outside of each
other.
other.
He isn’t the only person in your life ad he isn’t the center
of your universe. You realize that you don’t
always need to be together.
of your universe. You realize that you don’t
always need to be together.
There will be times that you can’t be together, there will be activities you both won’t want to do, and there will
be times he’ll want to hang with his friends. You know that it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong
with your relationship, it’s just what balance is.
be times he’ll want to hang with his friends. You know that it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong
with your relationship, it’s just what balance is.
17. If he doesn’t text you back, you don’t automatically start freaking out.
You don’t
start overthinking everything, you don’t
automatically assume “this is it, he’s leaving me for someone else and I
must be the worst partner in the world.”
start overthinking everything, you don’t
automatically assume “this is it, he’s leaving me for someone else and I
must be the worst partner in the world.”
You’re calm and collected and you realize there is usually a
good reason for no response.
good reason for no response.
18. He just brings out the best you.
There isn’t
a reason to conform to what you think they want, you don’t have to put on a front to impress them. There’s
full support for whatever you’re doing in life without judgment. Just the same,
you stand by him when he’s trying to fulfill his goals and dreams.
a reason to conform to what you think they want, you don’t have to put on a front to impress them. There’s
full support for whatever you’re doing in life without judgment. Just the same,
you stand by him when he’s trying to fulfill his goals and dreams.
You want to do better, to be better, because you have that
person in your life.
person in your life.
19. You’re each other’s best friends.
In a healthy relationship, you aren’t just lovers, you’re
friends as well. He’s a confidant when you need to talk to someone, usually one
of the first people you want to tell something exciting to and have your back
when you need them.
friends as well. He’s a confidant when you need to talk to someone, usually one
of the first people you want to tell something exciting to and have your back
when you need them.
20. Your relationship only gets stronger with time.
As time goes on, a weak relationship will just fizzle out. A
healthy relationship grows as time goes on. You remind each other how important
you are to each other, you push each other to try new things, and you stand by
each other when times get tough.
healthy relationship grows as time goes on. You remind each other how important
you are to each other, you push each other to try new things, and you stand by
each other when times get tough.
You use “I love you,” “thank you,” and
“I’m sorry” whenever it’s appropriate but more
importantly you don’t just say
it, you mean it.
“I’m sorry” whenever it’s appropriate but more
importantly you don’t just say
it, you mean it.
21. For the first time in a while, you’re genuinely happy.
This is the person that makes your life easier and sometimes
more chaotic. But when it comes down to it he always makes you happy. Just
hearing his name makes you smile.
more chaotic. But when it comes down to it he always makes you happy. Just
hearing his name makes you smile.
You look forward to tomorrow with him. He’s the person you
couldn’t imagine walking out the door
and never returning. It’s not
draining and complicated. With him you feel calm, secure, happy and, above all,
loved.
couldn’t imagine walking out the door
and never returning. It’s not
draining and complicated. With him you feel calm, secure, happy and, above all,
loved.
