Many
people worry that the only solution to this problem is to avoid anyone of the
opposite sex — but that’s simply not true! Think about it: If you were to follow this
advice to the extreme, half the world would be off-limits to every relationship-dedicated person!
people worry that the only solution to this problem is to avoid anyone of the
opposite sex — but that’s simply not true! Think about it: If you were to follow this
advice to the extreme, half the world would be off-limits to every relationship-dedicated person!
Men
and women interact all the time despite the reality that a sexual attraction
could spark between them. Well-dressed women sit at the boardroom table with
dapper men, stylish female sales representatives drop in on male doctors during
lunch breaks and well-built male physical trainers gently place their female
clients’ body parts in the proper positions on the elliptical machine beautiful ladies works pass at cafeterias, lecture halls, work etc and tall, handsome, charming guys dazzle you sight everyday. Moreover, men and women interact in work cubicles, university lab benches, art,
acting and yoga studios throughout the world.
and women interact all the time despite the reality that a sexual attraction
could spark between them. Well-dressed women sit at the boardroom table with
dapper men, stylish female sales representatives drop in on male doctors during
lunch breaks and well-built male physical trainers gently place their female
clients’ body parts in the proper positions on the elliptical machine beautiful ladies works pass at cafeterias, lecture halls, work etc and tall, handsome, charming guys dazzle you sight everyday. Moreover, men and women interact in work cubicles, university lab benches, art,
acting and yoga studios throughout the world.
Can
people who are potentially sexually attracted to each other form friendships
and still be true to their relationship? I believe they can. It is possible to be
open to spending time with, work, study or create side-by-side with someone of
the opposite sex.
people who are potentially sexually attracted to each other form friendships
and still be true to their relationship? I believe they can. It is possible to be
open to spending time with, work, study or create side-by-side with someone of
the opposite sex.
But
as the friendship evolves, it’s the responsibility of a relationship-dedicated individual to
pay attention to the nature of the relationship. Feeling comfortable around
someone is a blessing. But when friendship crosses the line and you or they are
starting to feel very close emotionally, it may be a big warning sign.
as the friendship evolves, it’s the responsibility of a relationship-dedicated individual to
pay attention to the nature of the relationship. Feeling comfortable around
someone is a blessing. But when friendship crosses the line and you or they are
starting to feel very close emotionally, it may be a big warning sign.
When
you’re with someone who could tempt you to compromise your commitment to your sworn-partner, ask yourself one question: Is this new person a friend of my dedicated-relationship life?
If he or she is a great buddy of yours but doesn’t care to know about, or
interact with, your partner, then that could spell trouble for your relationship.
you’re with someone who could tempt you to compromise your commitment to your sworn-partner, ask yourself one question: Is this new person a friend of my dedicated-relationship life?
If he or she is a great buddy of yours but doesn’t care to know about, or
interact with, your partner, then that could spell trouble for your relationship.
If
you’re not sure about what kind of friend this is, it may take some soul
searching on your part. There are instances when friendship crosses the line
and it’s not clear whether someone has crossed a boundary and become a threat
to your relationship. In those cases, you must seek the opinion of the one person
who matters most: partner or spouse
you’re not sure about what kind of friend this is, it may take some soul
searching on your part. There are instances when friendship crosses the line
and it’s not clear whether someone has crossed a boundary and become a threat
to your relationship. In those cases, you must seek the opinion of the one person
who matters most: partner or spouse
If
your friend is someone of the opposite sex (or of the same sex if you are so
attracted), here are some guidelines to help figure out whether that person
should be considered a true friend or someone who will put your relationship at
risk:
your friend is someone of the opposite sex (or of the same sex if you are so
attracted), here are some guidelines to help figure out whether that person
should be considered a true friend or someone who will put your relationship at
risk:
1. Your partner must feel
comfortable around this person.
comfortable around this person.
He
or she doesn’t have to necessarily have to feel spiritually bonded to your
friend, but there should be a sense of comfort about your spending time with
him or her.
or she doesn’t have to necessarily have to feel spiritually bonded to your
friend, but there should be a sense of comfort about your spending time with
him or her.
2. Keep family bonds.
Your
new friend must be willing to form a connection with your partner. Not just as a way to spend more time with you, but out of genuine
interest in being a part of your complete life.
new friend must be willing to form a connection with your partner. Not just as a way to spend more time with you, but out of genuine
interest in being a part of your complete life.
3. Hide no secrets.
You
should neither give nor receive any secret communications. Any and all contact
with your friend should be in full knowledge of your partner. If you find
yourself meeting with your friend by accident somewhere, you should immediately
zip a text telling your partner that you ran into each other.
should neither give nor receive any secret communications. Any and all contact
with your friend should be in full knowledge of your partner. If you find
yourself meeting with your friend by accident somewhere, you should immediately
zip a text telling your partner that you ran into each other.
4. Speak no evil.
Under
no circumstances should your friendship include discussions about your mate’s faults in anything but the
most general terms. Explaining a husband’s mismatched shirt and tie as,
“Scott doesn’t have a good eye for color” is acceptable; commenting that the
lawn isn’t mowed because “Scott is too lazy to get around to it,” is
not.
no circumstances should your friendship include discussions about your mate’s faults in anything but the
most general terms. Explaining a husband’s mismatched shirt and tie as,
“Scott doesn’t have a good eye for color” is acceptable; commenting that the
lawn isn’t mowed because “Scott is too lazy to get around to it,” is
not.
5. Hear no evil.
Likewise,
your friend should not use your relationship to talk about faults in his or her
partner.
your friend should not use your relationship to talk about faults in his or her
partner.
6. No special understandings.
Never
be in a position to say to your friend, “I’m telling you this because my
partner wouldn’t understand,” or otherwise hinting that your friend
appreciates you in ways that your partner does not.
be in a position to say to your friend, “I’m telling you this because my
partner wouldn’t understand,” or otherwise hinting that your friend
appreciates you in ways that your partner does not.
7. No pillow talk.
Under
no circumstances should you be talking about any sexual issues with your
friend. It’s fine to discuss the news of your favorite Kardashian’s romantic
exploits, but any discussion about your personal sexual preferences or
experiences is strictly off limits.
no circumstances should you be talking about any sexual issues with your
friend. It’s fine to discuss the news of your favorite Kardashian’s romantic
exploits, but any discussion about your personal sexual preferences or
experiences is strictly off limits.
Avoid
situations that can stir up physical intimacy, such as candlelight dinners,
sitting in saunas without spouses around or entering a dance marathon together.
You may not feel any romantic inclination toward your friend before doing these
things, but the right situation can breed new interest.
situations that can stir up physical intimacy, such as candlelight dinners,
sitting in saunas without spouses around or entering a dance marathon together.
You may not feel any romantic inclination toward your friend before doing these
things, but the right situation can breed new interest.
8. Minimize rituals.
You
should not develop habits of exclusively having alone time with your friend.
It’s critical that your family periodically be included in get-togethers. Be
very cautious about regular rituals that you and your friend have. It’s okay to
say, “We always watch the Bristol Fourth of July parade together,”
but not, “Every morning, we go on a power walk together,” unless you
have your partner’s OK.
should not develop habits of exclusively having alone time with your friend.
It’s critical that your family periodically be included in get-togethers. Be
very cautious about regular rituals that you and your friend have. It’s okay to
say, “We always watch the Bristol Fourth of July parade together,”
but not, “Every morning, we go on a power walk together,” unless you
have your partner’s OK.
9. Stay sober.
You
should never engage in excessive drinking or any illegal drug use with this
friend, as sharing “sins” together develops false intimacy, and
substance abuse lowers inhibitions.
should never engage in excessive drinking or any illegal drug use with this
friend, as sharing “sins” together develops false intimacy, and
substance abuse lowers inhibitions.
10. Pay attention to your
emotions.
emotions.
If
you begin to feel a romantic attraction to the other person, or if this person
begins to express one to you, you must immediately break off all relationships
with that person.
you begin to feel a romantic attraction to the other person, or if this person
begins to express one to you, you must immediately break off all relationships
with that person.
I’m
glad we live in a society where men and women can share time, thought and even
friendships. But when friendship crosses the line, dedicated ladies and guys must
be vigilant for risks of potential infidelity, and do everything in their power
to be sure that any individual friend is also a friend of the relationship.
glad we live in a society where men and women can share time, thought and even
friendships. But when friendship crosses the line, dedicated ladies and guys must
be vigilant for risks of potential infidelity, and do everything in their power
to be sure that any individual friend is also a friend of the relationship.
